Requiem for a fool
by Lyne-chan
Summary: :"I'm probably the last person on earth you would think about as a friend. The last one you would like to talk to. But here I am, Neji, and I won't go away. Not anymore". After the Chuunin exams, Neji and Hinata have to set things straight. Slight N/H


Well, hi everyone!

Errr... This... thing... story... whatever, is my first fanfic in english. I'm a french writer but I read many english stories and I love it, so I gave it a try. I wanted a beta-reader to check it out before I publish it, but I didn't find one =/ I read it many times so as to erase as much mistakes as possible, but since English isn't my native language, I can't guarantee you that it is absolutely perfect. Anyway, I really wanted to post it. Please let me know what you think of it! If you like it, hate it, if it is understandable, pleasant to read or if it was hell. If you find out any mistakes that need to be corrected or any sentences which would need an improvement, feel free to tell me.

I really want to improve, so anything you can point out will be useful.

Thanks for reading, I hope you will enjoy it =)

**Xiao Bi**: Thank you for your review, I didn't know for the quotation marks. I changed that ;) As for the mistakes you found in this story, I would really like you to point them out, if you still want to do it of course ^^'

**XxPriscillaxX**: I'm glad that you liked it, thank you for your nice review =)

**ShyShinobi**: Yay! Your review made my day for I really wanted to stick to Neji's real personality, as for Hinata's. I don't really like it when Neji is all lovey-dovey or when Hinata suddenly become a seductress... =S Thanks for your review!

**AnimeLover365**: Wow! "Phenomenal" is a big word, I'm flattered that you would use it to qualify this story ^^ Errr... I tried to find the miss spelt you talked about, but I can't find them... I guess that my soooooo great talent in English (insert sarcasm here) came to an end at this point! lol Thank you for reviewing ;)

**kittyluver-777**: I think they are cute, too. And who know, maybe one day they will be more than friends? (hu, hu... -^.^-) Thanks for you review!

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><p>I'm probably the last person on earth you would think about as a friend. The last one you would expect at your door on a Sunday morning, when Konoha is steel sound asleep. The last one you would like to talk to. But here I am, knocking at your door, engulfed in my well known over-sized jacket, my scarf and my gloves on and my hot breath vanishing in the cold wind of December. I don't really know why I keep trying. I am well aware that you will not open your door. You will let me freeze, nursing your tea and hoping for me to catch a cold, one bad enough to send me to bed for a while. But I don't care. I will not go back to my room, nor will I let you be alone. Not this time. Not ever.<p>

Do you remember this time when we used to play together ? You were always smiling, running here and then, jumping around and laughting whenever you liked. You were a joyful child, one sweet, innocent boy who took great care of me. You were always by my side, grinning like there was no tomorrow, and your smile was the only one thing which could break the armor of shyness which surrounded my heart. When you were around, I didn't stutter, nor did I hang my head down. I blushed, but it was not an embarassed type of blush. It was a blush raised from delight and sheer happiness, a blush which never tainted my cheeks unless you were around.

I miss this time.

I miss you, Neji.

You said I was a princess – your sweet little princess – and you were my prince. At that time, you didn't think about the prince as a lover. You said you would always protect me from dragons, witches and robbers. You were my knight in shining armor, my protector. At that time, you didn't think about me as a duty, a burden droped heavily on your strong shoulders. You were glad to be by my side. And I was flattered, and proud, and grateful that you would want to protect someone like me. Someone so weak, so revolting and pitiful.

I knock for the hundredth time this morning. I don't fell my fingers anymore, my lips are blue and I can't control the trembling of my body. I don't like the cold. A long shiver runs down my spine as I huff in annoyance, blow in my hands and knock again.

You will not deny me, Neji. Not this time.

I remember the day when our games came to an end. I remember it clearly. It was after my kidnapping. After your father's death. When you learnt that I had been in danger, you ran to me at his side. Your eyes were shining with worry and sadness, then bright with relief when you saw me safe. I will never forget your eyes, Neji. These eyes that watched me with love and concern. Cause that's what you really are : a kind, carring person, one to be loved and cheriched as much as you loved me yourself. But then, three days laters, your father was sent to Ame. He died on my behalf, because of the main house's refusal to play the game by the rules. Because of the seal, the very same seal than the one which marks your forehead with its bright green ink. And you started to hate me. You got stronger, each day passing by was another skill added to your knowledge. You became a wonderful ninja. Proud, high-handed and deadly on the battle field. You were the pride of the branch house, the genius amongst the Hyuugas. Every one praised you, admired you and envied you. You were handsome, and strong, and self-confident. Every girl dreamt to be your only one, your muse to be cherished. Every boy envied your strenght, your intelligence and your charisma. You were a good leader, one who was not to be disobeyed. All of your missions were successful, you beat your ennemies up without suffering from the tiniest scratch. You were popular, always under the light-spots, even if you didn't really care about it. All you cared was me, and how you would make me pay.

I don't hold grudges, you know. I am not mad at you for everything you've done. Not even for that time during the Chuunin exams. Because between the two of us, you're the one who have suffered the most.

Somewhere in the village, a bell rings as the sun is coming out in the horizon. Its lights are burning the sky with red flames and strong flashes of gold, and the snows seems to glow under the radiance of its rays. Everything comes to life as the light is slowly increasing, and I stop knocking at your door to look at the sun rising up the roofs and high in the clear blue sky. A soft smile appears on my lips. It's calm, and serene, and peaceful. Beautiful.

It heals my wounds, eases my fears and rises my hopes.

I will not give up.

As Naruto says, it's my nindô.

I turn on my heels and resume knocking again, more fiercely now than ever. You will open this door, Neji, even if I have to knock all day long until my knuckles break on the hard wood. Even if I have to scream until my vocal cords snap from exhaustion. We have to talk, Neji, because I don't want to loose you again.

When Naruto beat you four years ago, I didn't come to you. I let you live with it, too afraid to hurt you again to try anything. Now I know what a huge mistake it was. Two months passed until you went on this mission to retrieve Sasuke. You came back so hurt that I was afraid to loose you definitively. But even then, I didn't come. I was such a coward. I sneaked into your room under the cloak of the night and left you anonymous gifts, oinments and flowers. You never knew where these presents came from. You assumed it was from one of your team mates and I never proved you wrong. I was glad you were healthy again. It was enough for my happiness.

The sun is now high above my head, shining at his upmost capacity. The snow all around me is almost blinding and the frost on the bare branches of the trees sparkles under the bright light. It is almost too much for my eyes. Under half-closed lids, I take in the frozen pathway, the few trees on each side and the thick snowy strata on the ground, everything so bright and pure that one can easily forget that all of it is part of the cold, austere Hyuuga mansion.

I knock again.

I learned what happened by chance. Once upon a time, you would have called it destiny. I was passing by a store when I overheard Gai talking to Kurenai. Your sensei was worried. Really worried. You starved yourself, overtrained your body and never took any advice. You were distracted, so distracted that you got hurt during a mission. Your injuries weren't serious but Tsunade-sama ordered you to stay home for a while. She thought you needed to think by yourself and to clear up whatever was bothering you so much before resuming your missions. Gai said that he knew something was on your mind from a long time now, but he never said anything, knowing how you would only shrug and go away without listening. He aslo told her how he caught you frowning and moving during your sleep, and how you would whisper tormented words once in a while, never waking up from this nightmare which would come back every night.

I didn't wait for more.

I had enough to be worried, and scared.

I so wanted to confort you, to hold you in my arms, whispering soothing words at your ears and rocking you back and forth like a little child, a child you never really got to be. But I was afraid. Afraid that you would reject me again, that my mere presence would put you down more than you already were. I didn't want to hurt you, Neji, I still don't.

That's why I'm here.

I'm here to fight my own demons.

I'm here to change.

To change myself but you also, to make you see the light again. Naruto brought you out of the darkness, now it is up to me to show you the sun. I will blind you, Neji, I will make you forget all about your precious Byakugan. The caged bird seal will be insignificant then, so far away from your thoughts that you will even forget its mere existence.

I will free you, Neji.

I knock again, nearly banging at your door. The loud noise is echoing in the bare landscape, crashing against the cold walls of the empty mansion. It's been seven hours since I began to knock. I will gladly do the same for seven other hours if it means that you will answer. I don't give you the choice, anyway.

Raising my bloody, trembling fist, I am ready to knock again, and again, when you suddenly open the door. Your face is a frown as you glare at me with those deadly eyes of yours.

And I smile.

A soft, exhausted smile which pass unnoticed for anyone but me, but a smile anyway.

_Hello, Neji. I say softly, my voice barely audible under my scarf.

You don't reply anything. You just glare.

But I don't care.

_M-May I come in ?

As expected, you don't say anything. But you step aside so as to allow me to enter, and you close the door behind me. Silence fall on us. Now that I am here, I can't bring myself to speak. I keep my head down, my gaze fixed on the floor as I fidget nervously, a habit I thought I had lost mounths ago. But here again, I am never the same as usual when you are around. You don't say anything either, not that I hoped you would do it. Minutes are passing by painfully slowly as I battle with my own shyness to say something. _Anything._ But you beat me at it when your low, hoarse voice rises from your lips.

_You're hurt.

The mere statement astonishes me.

Not that I didn't notice the blood dripping between my fingers, but I was stunned that _you_ would notice. That you would care enough to say it.

If I know something about you, it's that you don't speak about things that hold no interest for you. Ever.

Though I don't say anything about it. I know it would only embarass you. So I just nod, fidgeting even more than before. But you will have none of that. I yelp when you grab me by the sleeve and force me to sit on the couch. Then you disappear in the staircase. I watch, wide-eyes, the place where you stood three seconds ago, then rub my bruised fingers absent-mindedly as I take in my surroundings.

Your house is clean and tidy. Everything is in its right place, from the dishes in the sink to the cuchions on the couch. No dust in the corners, no socks on the floor, no books misplaced on the shelves. Slowly, I get up from the couch and walk around the living-room. Every one of your books is about ninja arts, strategy or secret jutsu. The rare personal items which decorate your shelves are gifts given by your team mates or your sensei. Suddenly, my breath get caught in my throat as my gaze fall on a beautiful silvery kunai. The weapon is slender, easy to be thrown and made especially for your hand. Its blade is sharp, silent and efficient. The strong handle is engraved with one only word :

_Fool._

I know this kunai very well, for I am the one who gave it to you as an anonymous gift when you were stuck at the hospital after Naruto's victory. Taking it carefully in my hands, I turn it back and forth, admiring its cold shining under the crude light of winter. The four letter are still perfectly shaped in the hard metal, and I marvel at their round curves and soft touch.

If I wasn't so quiet and so shy, I would have laugh.

Here you are, keeping this weapon preciously hidden in your house, taking care of it as if it was something precious, something worthy of your attention.

You would have thrown it away if you had known that I was the one who gave it to you.

I even signed it !

I am the fool, as much as you are.

I'm a weak, pathetic fool, one failure of a heiress. You were right, I don't deserve to be part of the main house. You do. I am the fool.

But again, here you are ! You, the Hyuuga genius, cherishing something which come from the one person you hate the most in the world ! That's… hilarious, don't you think so ? You are a fool too, for you are strong, and smart, and everything I ever wanted to be, and you waste it all haiting someone like me. You can do everything. Find a girlfriend, make wonderful friends, look into my father's prideful eyes, but you gave up on all of that so as to hate me. _Me_ amongst all the others.

How foolish.

I twist the weapon one last time, sighting heavily.

_You're such a fool, Neji…

_As you are.

I jump and nearly drop the kunai as a startled shriek escapes my lips.

_N-Neji… !

You merely nod, your gaze never leaving the weapon in my hands. Blushing, I stutter an apology and put it back hastily on the shelf. Then I wait, fearful, my gaze stuck on my feet and my head bent so low that my neck is about to break. Silence engulfs us as I am getting more and more nervous, but don't dare to look up at you. Finally, I hear you put something on the table – a box filled with bandages – and come to me. Your soft, quiet steps remind me of your wonderful ninja skills and your ability to kill someone without them even knowing what happened. You stop next to me and take the kunai to replace it at its exact place on the shelf, your eyes never leaving it once as you do so.

_This, you begin, is my most treasured weapon.

I don't say anything, too afraid to even flinch at the neutral tone of your voice. You are never neutral when it comes to me. You're always angry, or hateful, or indifferent. Neutral is too gentle for me. Too soothing in its own way.

_I found it on my bedside table, when I was at the hospital.

I cringe slightly, unable to repress the sudden urge to move away from you.

Or I might burst into hysterical, uncontrollable laughters.

Oh, Neji, I know it ! I know it all ! It is you who might need an explanation, not I. Oh, the irony of it all…

Such a _burlesque_.

_It was wrapped in a brown paper, with a silver tie on it. There was no card, no note, nothing that would explain who gave it to me.

Yes there was.

You just missed it, as you missed anything about me during these past four years.

_Fool._

Your fingers slowly caress the handle, insisting on those four letters.

_ But it wasn't needed.

Your fingers came to a stop as you finally look at me, your white pearl eyes boring into me. I gasp.

You _knew_.

My eyes are wide open, my cheeks are burning and my breath is ragged. I feel like I can faint on the spot.

_You knew._

And you never said anything.

I was the fool here.

Seeing that I might faint if I don't calm down, you slowly approach me and make me sit down. Then, you open the box and silently tend to my injured hands while I'm concentrating on my breathing – in and out, in and out – until my heart stops pounding frantically against my ribs.

Your hands are gentle against mine. They are soft, and caring. You are careful not to hurt me anymore than I already am.

I don't understand.

Even your eyes are wary, as if I might break between your hands. You are not frowning, nor do you glare. Your face is… peaceful. Still unreadable, but in a softer way. When you're finished, I am still afraid, and anxious, but not panic-stricken anymore. My cheeks are bright red and my eyes are avoiding yours but you don't seem to mind. Actually, you seem to prefer it that way, at least for now.

Even if there's nothing more to tend to, you don't let go of me.

Your fingers slowly draw the lines on the inside of my hands, studying their shape as if it was some kind of precious map you were to memorize with the upmost precision.

_I…

You interrupt yourself, biting your lip. Then you sigh deeply and resume talking.

_I've wanted to… to thank you for some time now. And…

You take a shaky breath, as if stuggling with your words, embarassed by what you were about to say. But I can't bring myself to notice, for I am too shocked to pay attention to anything but your words.

_And I… well, I am…

_Neji-niisan !

For a second you look lost and insecure, not knowing why I interrupted you so suddenly. If I was this plain old Hinata from before, I would have blushed and apologized profusely for such a rude interruption. No, I would never have stopped you to begin with. But as I am now – and I know I've changed for good – I only smile shyly at you, still blushing, and lightly squeeze your hand.

_I'm hungry for some Ichiraku ramen. Mind to join me ? I say, and for the first time in my life I am holding your gaze, my eyes never leaving yours as you came to realize that I know too.

The reason why you were so distracted lately.

The reason why you kept dreaming about the Chuunin exams, why you didn't throw my gifts away.

I've just understood it.

And my eyes are telling you that your intentions are well known.

I accept your apologies, Neji. So don't worry so much.

We stay like that for a while; you, kneeling on the floor, and me, sat on the couch, our hands intertwined and our eyes fixed on the other, talking for us. No words are spoken. Your gaze is holding mine, searching for a lie, a faint trace of hate, fear or repulsion, but find nothing. I forgave you a long time ago, you know. Then your hands squeeze mines forcefully as a true, beautiful smile appears on your face. A warm smile, full of tenderness and gratefulness.

_I'd love to.

I return you a smile of my own, truly happy that you finally forgave yourself too. I feel better than I never have in a long time, overjoyed to have my dear cousin back. You get up slowly, help me to get off the couch and put everything back in the box. Then we are heading to the door. But as I am about to step outside you suddenly come to a stop, turn on your heels and go retrieve the kunai on the shelf. My heart skips a beat when I see how you look at it. Your eyes hold so much care and deference that I know my cheeks are burning at the mere sight of it. You caress it slowly – insisting on the word engraved on its handle – and put it carefully in your bag.

Then you close your door and say, a small smile playing on your lips:

_Now the fool is the one who would attack you when I am around, Hinata-sama.

Your hand catch mine and hold it, and I know that from now on you will never let go. Nor will I.

For we are no fools anymore.


End file.
